• Partner seems annoyed, frustrated, or unhappy
• Quick to display anger, hostility, criticism, and perhaps abuse
• Lack of interest in sex or affection
• Less intimacy, sharing, talking, and disclosures
• May be difficult to start fight with partner, because he or she does not care
• Spouse or partner does his or her own thing and becomes indifferent to doing things together
• Frequent time out of the house and away from home
• May miss or cancel events with you
• Little regard for your feelings, wants and concerns
• You may feel like you are being avoided, ignored, or dismissed
• Will avoid having sex – just goes through motions or lack of interest
• Does not respond to “I love you” or other forms of affection
• Sudden need for privacy, space, autonomy, or freedom
• May fight more over money
• Little interest in things around the house
• Develops active life outside of home and relationship
• Spends a lot of time on the computer, phone, or text messaging
• Unavailable, unpredictable, and hard to get a hold of
• Erratic changes in work schedule
• Sudden change or concern with appearance, interests and hobbies
• Forgets anniversaries, birthdays, and special occasions
  
  Spouses cheat because of problems in their relationship - something is missing, passion has faded, partners feel lonely, people find someone who treats them better or who appreciates them more than their current spouse, and so on.
  
  While the desire to cheat is a fundamental, and unconscious, part of our human nature, not everyone will be unfaithful.
  
  Like most of our behaviors, infidelity is not intentional, but, for the most part, it is situationally driven.
  
  
  All things being equal, an individual’s attractiveness influences how likely he or she is to cheat. Attraction comes in many different forms – it is influenced by one’s physical appearance, one’s social skills, and one’s tangible resources (money). The more one is in demand, the more likely one is to cheat. People, who have higher incomes, more education, and successful careers, are more likely to cheat than people who are less successful.
  
  Again, all things being equal, the more individual free time people have the more likely they are to cheat. Couples who have separate social lives, friends, careers, travel plans, and so on are much more likely to cheat than couples who spend most of their time together. The more opportunity people have to cheat, the greater the odds that cheating will occur.
  
  People who like to take risks or have a sense of adventure are more likely to cheat than people who are more fearful or timid by nature. And there is most likely a genetic component involved in risk-taking behavior - some people may be predisposed to taking risks
  
  Sexual desire varies from person to person. Some people have a very high sex drive while other people are much less concerned or interested in sex. And people with a high, rather than low, sex drive are more likely to cheat. Again, sexual desire appears to be influenced by genetic factors. Some people are inherently more easily aroused and driven by their desire for sex than other people
  
  Some people view love and romance as a sacred bond between two individuals. Other people see love as a game, where the goal is to manipulate another individual and gain emotional power over a partner. People who view love as a game are much more likely to have multiple love interests; cheating is just another way to gain control over one's spouse.
  
  As problems emerge in a relationship, people are more likely to cheat. Infidelity is more common in relationships where people feel misunderstood, under appreciated and where fighting and bickering is common
  
  Some people, due to their position in society, their beliefs about gender roles, or their cultural upbringing, believe that it is their right to cheat on their partners. In other words, some people believe that cheating is a privilege to which they are entitled.

Trusting

Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work. He changes his patterns. His behavior becomes unpredictable. You get the picture? Any movement away from predictable behavior can become suspect and trust can deteriorate. Focus on acting predictably if you need to build trust.

Inform your significant other when you become "unpredictable." No one goes through life the same person. We all make shifts and changes. Frankly sometimes we may be fairly clueless about what is happening and where we are going. Those times may be very intense and we do some silly things or make some downright dumb decisions.

Make sure your words match the message. Mean what you say and say what you mean. When your partner hears one thing in your words but your tone of voice, body language and facial expressions are really saying something else, you open the relationship to some crazy making days.

Be very very careful of keeping secrets. If he knows there is an elephant in the room and doesn't talk about it, the elephant takes up tremendous space in the relationship. It takes energy for him to walk around it. She may not see the elephant but knows he is bending his neck to look around something.

If you have been cheated on in a relationship then you know how hard it is to start trusting again. You may develop trust issues. Often wondering what the other person is doing and why they don't answer the phone when you call them.

If you are in a relationship and find out that your partner cheated on you I can only suggest one thing. Will you ever trust this person again. If the answer is no then get out of it. Take the time to think about what you think. They do say once a cheater always a cheater. If someone truely loved you or wished to be with you they would have no reason to cheat. No excuse in the world is good enough to give a person the pass to cheat on you.

Being Abused

Every couple has arguments or disagreements. In a respectful and equal relationship, both partners feel free to state their opinions, to make their own decisions, to be themselves, and to say no to sex. But this is not the case when someone is abusive. In an abusive relationship, one partner tries to dominate the other through physical harm, criticisms, demands, threats, or sexual pressure. For the victim this behaviour can be very dangerous frightening confusing and damaging.

Psychological or emotional abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse. Abuse in a relationship is never acceptable regardless of the circumstances, and is never the fault of the victim. Abuse is not caused by alcohol, or stress, or by the victims behaviour.
Abuse happens because the abuser wants to control and manipulate the other person.

If you yourself are in a abusive relationship you need to find a way to get out. Go to the police or your parents. Find someone to help you to get out of this. It will never get better.


If you suspect someone being in an abusive relationship there are some signs you can look for.

*She seems afraid of her partner or is always very anxious to please him or her.

* She has stopped seeing her friends or family, or cuts phone conversations short when her partner is in the room.

*Her partner often criticizes her or humiliates  her in front of other people.

*She says her partner pressures or forces her to do sexual things.

*Her partner often orders her about or makes all the decisions ( for example controlling all the money or what she can or can't do).

*She often talks about her partner's 'jealousy', 'bad tempered' or 'possessiveness".

*She has become anxious or depressed, has lost her confidence, or is unusually quiet.

*She has physical injuries( bruises, broken bones, sprains). She may give unlikely explanations for physical injuries.

*Her children seem afraid of her partner.

*After she has left the relationship her partner is constantly calling her, harassing her, following her, coming to her house or waiting outside.

It can be very difficult  to leave an abusive partner. There are many reasons why it may be so.

She is afraid of what the abuser will do if she leaves. The person who abusive may have threatened to harm her or her family.

She still loves her partner because he or she is not abusive all the time.

She has a commitment to the relationship or a belief that a marriage is forever.

She hopes her partner will change. Sometimes the abusive person might promise to change. She might think that if the abuser stops drinking, the abuse will stop.

She thinks the abuse is her fault

She feels she should stay 'for the sake of the children', and that is is best that children live with both parents. Her partner may have threatened to take or harm the children if she leaves.

A lack of confidence. The person who is abusive will have deliberately tried to break down their partner's confidence, and make her feel like she is stupid, hopeless and responsible for the abuse. She may feel powerless and unable to make decisions.

Isolation and loneliness. The person who is abusive may have tried to cut her off from contact with family or friends. She might be afraid of coping on her own.

Pressure to stay from family, her community or church. She might fear rejection from her community or family if she leave.

She may feel that she can't get away from her partner because they live in a rural area, or because they have the same friends.

She doesn't have the means to survive if the relationship ends. She might not have anywhere to live, or access to money, or transport, particularly if she lives in an isolated area. She may be dependent upon the abuser.


Is he/she the one?

Life is a risk. Marriage or long-term partnership is, to some extent, a leap of faith. There are no guarantees. All we can do is muster our best resources in the form of love, a positive attitude, a firm commitment and a faith in life. These are the tools, the weapons and the comforts we take forward in life when we say "I do" One would think that the better we know ourselves, the better choice we make, and that is true. But most marriages that are long-term have gone through darkness, light, challenge, failure and success and those couples have used the relationship to better get to know themselves. Self-knowledge deepens relationship understanding and relationship understanding deepens self-knowledge. Relationships are one of our most powerful vehicles for retaining self-knowledge.
 

1. See if you naturally remember his birthday, your anniversary, and days that are important to him.
2. Make sure he doesn't pressure you to become intimate before you are ready.
3. Make note if you compliment him even when he knows he's not looking his best. You may even prefer the "natural" him.
4. Notice if you tell your friends/family how great he is and if you are excited to introduce him to them.
   
    
   • Do you include him in family plans, such as inviting him on your family vacation (or even simply assuming that he will accompany your family without needing an invitation)?
   • Do you want to help him get along with his family, even sticking up for him, because it is important to you that his family like you and you like them?
   • Do you suggest that he call your mother if he needs advice on cooking, cleaning, etc.?
5. Pay attention if you openly tell him that you love him, even offering qualifiers such as "I love you a lot" or initiating the "I love you more" game.
6. See if you talk about your future with him without any prompting (e.g. you fantasize about the children you will have together).
7. See if you want to give him a key to your apartment/house and/or you make a point of telling him that you have never given this key out to any other boyfriend. Express how important it is to you that he feel comfortable in your house.
8. Make sure you feel comfortable being yourself in front of him. This not only means that you can be that "silly you" that only your close friends or family know. Be sure that you feel comfortable with him seeing you without make-up, without your hair done or after a sweaty workout. Make sure that you feel comfortable using his bathroom.
9. One way of finding out if he really cares for you is to listen to him when he thinks you're not listening. This doesn't mean follow him around! One day when you are curled up together ask for him to talk you to sleep because you've been finding it hard to sleep and his voice relaxes you. Lie back, relax and pretend to sleep in his arms. He'll yabber about whatever until he thinks your asleep. Sometimes, he'll tell you something while you're asleep that he finds it hard to say whilst you're awake.
10. Stay away from a guy who is overly controlling. If he frequently tells you what to do or tries to run your life, watch out! This guy is insecure and feels that he has the upper hand in your relationship. "The one" will be secure with you and let you be who you are.

Dating

Well in dating I can give you some advice. This advice is as follows. There are different ways you see dating. Some seeing it going to a bar and picking up a girl/guy. Then never seeing them again we call this a one night stand. There is nothing wrong with this as long as both agree they are lieing about what they want and both know that after tonight you probably won't ever see each other again.

Casual dating exists when you feel like calling up someone and going on a date. It can be anything from going to a movie to flying to Hawaii for some fun.

Exclusively dating is only between two people who should be calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend by now if that's not happening maybe you should rethink your relationship.

Below there are some links which I will describe what they are

Dating Tips
Dating Advice

If you are dating online and have some trouble then stop by the community link and post your problems.

Jealousy

 typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may have no knowledge of threatening the relationship.

Everyone gets jealous one time or another. If you see a hot girl/guy walking you with another person you automatically wish it was you. It's a type of jealousy. In a relationship you can get it from a guy getting text messages from another girl or a girl getting phone calls from some guy you don't know. Everyone has these feelings.


Getting over a breakup

If you've just had a break-up and are feeling down, you're not alone. Just about everyone experiences a break-up at sometime, and many then have to deal with heartbreak — a wave of grief, anger, confusion, low self-esteem, and maybe even jealousy all at once. Millions of poems and songs have been written about having a broken heart and wars have even been fought because of heartbreak.

Lots of things can cause heartbreak. Some people might have had a romantic relationship that ended before they were ready. Others might have strong feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way. Or maybe a person feels sad or angry when a close friend moves out of their life. Although the causes may be different, the feeling of loss is the same — whether it's the loss of something real or the loss of something you only hoped for. People describe heartbreak as a feeling of heaviness, emptiness, and sadness.

Most people will tell you you'll get over it or you'll meet someone else, but when it's happening to you, it can feel like no one else in the world has ever felt the same way. If you're experiencing these feelings, there are things you can do to lessen the pain.

Some people feel that nothing will make them happy again and resort to alcohol or drugs. Others feel angry and want to hurt themselves or someone else. People who drink, do drugs, or cut themselves to escape from the reality of a loss may think they are numbing their pain, but the feeling is only temporary. They're not really dealing with the pain, only masking it, which makes all their feelings build up inside and prolongs the sadness.

Just look at it this way. It was their loss.

Getting Played

If he doesn't respect you, respect yourself enough to make room in your life for someone who will. Commitment-minded men are drawn to women who command the respect of others. "One reason I asked my wife to marry me was the admiration I saw others had for her," says Darren, 31, a technology sales rep in Seattle. "It told me she was very special."

* Stay true to yourself. "Many men will tell you up front that they're seeing other women. Know that they mean it," Cornish advises. "Don't get into a relationship with such a man, silently telling yourself that he'll change. Be clear on what you will and will not tolerate." Women who consistently communicate their values, boundaries and self-worth are very rarely mistreated by men, the brothers say.

* Resist feeling needy or desperate. "Many women have been raised to see themselves as incomplete if they don't have a husband or boyfriend," says July. Searching for a man to fill an emptiness in yourself is a recipe for disappointment. First look within to find your purpose and ways you can fulfill it. When you seek a mate to share your personal abundance rather than to fill a need, you're more likely to find the love you're looking for.

Player's only play those that are vulnerable. Do you have a real desire to
please the man who's shown you the slightest attention? Are you easily led? How's
your self-esteem doing?

Basically, if you're a push over then you're a mark. If you find yourself
constantly being played then do some soul searching to find your
answer.

Some Telltale signs:

- Give you a cell number instead of home number.
- Always has to go on "business trip"
- Is very vague about details (work, friends, family)
- He is the one who always step up the speed of things..to get to the "spot" (or G-spot lol)
- Always too busy...especially in evenings or nights....
- never brings you at his home and cook you dinner.
- Always bring you away from where he lives.
- Never show you his workplace or present you to colleagues
- Always have a 'bad" luck, emergencies or "something" when you schedule.
- have women belongins at his home and claim that it is sister's and that yes she sleep in his bed when she is there...
- has passworded everything he owns: cell, computer, e-mail so that ONLY him can see them
- Always hide the caller on his cell when with you and step away so you do not listen.
- Avoid the parents big time...and "silence" or hide his.
- Stories are always dramatic, urgent, complicated and/or weird...and he is the only savior in that story.
- use a lot of reverse psychology
- Avoid responding directly to a direct question.
- Will try offended outburst to hide when put against the wall.
- any form of manipulation or usage.
- borrow cash or valuables
- move in faster then ants to your place.
- always tell you "oh! with you it's not the same..."
- spend more time trying to Screwing you then talking to you.
- Lack respect

Is it over?

Your life priorities have changed significantly. Major life changes often force people to reconsider what’s important, and this can make a once-healthy partnership lose its bearings. A near-death experience such as a serious accident or illness, being unexpectedly fired from a job, or losing a family member can cause anyone to reevaluate his or her life and decide to make some changes. Everything looks different after such an experience, and some things lose their meaning. When this happens, these new ways of seeing things must be addressed, since it’s unlikely that such changes will just disappear.

The arrangement still works, but the passion is missing. Lots of doomed relationships manage to work—for a while. But when neither partner has any genuine enthusiasm for the relationship, it may be in trouble.

You no longer trust your partner. After a partner has broken the bond of trust, it can be difficult to get it back. If your partner has had an affair or was irresponsible with a large amount of money, it is understandable that you feel angry and hurt. Over time, these wounds may not heal. Broken trust can cause serious harm to a relationship, and, if it is not healed, the relationship may not recover.

Your partner’s lifestyle or values clash with yours. It is difficult to sustain a long-term relationship when you and your partner do not agree on some of life’s most basic things. If you want to make and save a lot of money, but your partner seeks a simple life and would be happy living in a small house with few luxuries, this is a potential problem. If your partner seeks excitement and wants to be around people most of the time but you are basically a loner who prefers solitude, you may find yourselves growing apart. You may have been attracted to each other in the beginning because you brought each other some balance, but, over the long term, the very things that drew you to each other may doom your relationship.

Deciding to end a relationship can have enormous implications. If you are married, have children, own a home, and share finances, leaving your partner can be very complicated and will affect everyone in the family. It is important to make such a decision thoughtfully and for the right reasons.

 

More Warning Signs

If your partner regularly does one or more of the following things, you have good reason to be concerned.

1. Behaves abusively with your friends and family

2. Betrays your trust

3. Breaks promises

4. Cheats on you

5. Does not challenge you mentally

6. Does not support your goals in life

7. Is extremely jealous without cause

8. Is not financially self-supporting

9. Opposes or ignores your thoughts, feelings, or concerns

10. Physically abuses you

11. Pressures you to have sex when you are not interested

12. Resists your attempts to improve the relationship

13. Shares your secrets with others

14. Tells lies regularly

15. Threatens violence

16. Tries to isolate you from your friends and family

17. Verbally abuses you or puts you down

Tips for Making Good Relationship Decisions

1. Take your time making any important decision such as whether to end an important relationship. Even though you may feel confused and indecisive, it is important to recognize that this situation requires a deliberate and careful decision-making process.

2. Making a relationship decision calls for both instinct and logic. It’s important to trust your gut, but don’t lose track of reason.

3. Look at the issues from different points of view.

4. Consider the immediate and long-term implications of each option (staying or leaving), including the impact of each on other people in your life.

5. Consider the worst- and best-case scenarios, as well as the possibilities in between.

6. Give your relationship every chance to get back on track before you call it quits. Ask yourself if you have really tried everything. If you have, and it still isn’t working, it may be time to move on.

Why is he/she lazy?

Often people do change a little bit. The comfort zone of people change after they have been with each other for a while. This isn't a bad thing but it can be. If your the one doing all the work in a relationship. If your cooking. Doing the laundry. Going out and buying all the stuff while he/she sits home and watches TV it can be good or bad. If it bothers you then it is a bad thing. Try asking him/her to go with you. If the person says no or makes up an excuse try something later that day like asking them to do the dishes.

If they continue to avoid and stay lazy have a talk with them and let them know it is bothering you. A relationship is about meeting someone halfway.


Has he/she changed?

In a relationship especially for young people. You have to realize that people do change. You can try to force someone to change but then you are in a relationship with a lie. The person is pretending to be what you want just to make you happy but it doesn't make that person happy. In high school most relationships that start out in high school end within a few years of graduating from high school. That is because people change and grow apart. Between the ages of 18 and 24. You are finding out who you are. Some people quicker then others.


Clingy

to have a strong emotional attachment or dependence.

People that try to latch on after knowing you for 10 minutes.

There are good and bad things about clingy people.

The bad news is they always bother you wanting to be around you and bother you by text messaging showing up at random. Telling you how they feel about you and every thing that could possible annoy you.

The good news is you will never be lonely or infact alone. People who get clingy tend to attach themselves to you. They also like to please the people they cling to so that's a very good thing.